Wednesday, May 10, 2006

"Lost" - Two For The Road

“Two For The Road” – Ana Lucia Story

After Jack and Kate find Michael, we cut to our man (not) Henry Gale. Ana Lucia gets a little too close and HG gets her with choke hold. Fortunately Locke is there to beat Henry over the head with his light weight aluminum crutch, knocking him out cold. This leads us to our first Ana Lucia back story installment of the episode. Here we find Ana Lucia dealing with the aftermath of her cold-blooded gunning down of some dude. I especially liked her exchange with her mom, the weathered Rachel Ticotin, about her alibi:

Mom: Where were you last night?

AL: I made dinner, then watched some TV.

Mom: What’d you watch?

AL: DUUUUUHHHH…. You got me. I’m a murderer.

Doesn’t think on her feet too well, which I guess is the reason she opted for the airport “wander” job once she quit the force. After downing her tough-girl drink (tequila and tonic - gag), she meets Jack’s Dad – one of the most interesting back story characters of the show. As usual, he’s shitfaced, and he offers her a trip to Sydney as his protection. Naturally, she’s accepts the invite from the drunk stranger.

Back on the island, Ana is about to give herself some tough-girl stitches in her forehead when Libby approaches. Foreshadowing of Ana’s Death #1 – Libby says to her, “Don’t do anything stupid.” This takes us back to Ana’s stupid decision to go to Australia. Her we find Jack’s father super-drunk and ready to take Ana (who herself was ready to hit the bottle in the middle of the night) to wherever he was going that required protection. Turns out he was going to visit his daughter in Sydney. Does Jack know he has a sister? Is the sister someone on the island? Is it Claire? At that point Ana Lucia sees that Jack’s Dad isn’t the charming belligerent drunk she thought he was.

Then we set up Hurley and Libby’s picnic, and Sayid mentions the last female causality, Shannon, and everyone takes a moment to reflect on how much we don’t miss her. But back in the hatch, someone we DID miss, Michael, has returned all jacked up. Locke is skeptical about why Michael was all alone, and Jack said it’s because of the yelling. This almost seemed like a role reversal for those two – Locke being the skeptic and Jack having faith that Michael just followed the sound of his voice. Can’t wait to see how this turns out.

So now ladies and gentleman, after almost two seasons (or two months) on the island, the unthinkable happens – two people (who aren’t married) HAVE SEX! I know, Sayid and Shannon did it, too, but that was lame pre-meditated, candlelit, “I love you” sex. Ana Lucia and Sawyer did it Brokeback-style (fighting that turns to passion).

Then we go back to Sydney, where Jack’s Dad tells Ana that they’re both running away from their problems, and that he can’t ever go back. Cue the moment where we see someone else on the island in the back story (Sawyer gets hit with the car door), and we’re…

Back on Sawyer, this time in his post-coital, “look at me with my shirt off,” Men’s Health cover pose. Of course, that fact that Ana just had sex was the “Foreshadowing of Ana’s Death #2” – a classic horror movie convention. I was half expecting her to walk into an abandoned house built on an Indian burial ground.

Back at the hatch, Michael wakes up and tells everybody that the Others are barefoot savages living in tents and tee-pees (WTF?) and they only have two guns, and they eat fish like Tom Hanks in Castaway. Meanwhile, Kate made the decision to NOT speak up about the fact that they wear costumes and worked in a somewhat sophisticated medial facility up until about one month ago. Jack knew this too, but I guess they were just hearing what they wanted to hear. So it’s decided, they’ll get the guns from Sawyer and take on the Others. Jack and Locke have a nice heart to heart where Jack apologizes for believing (not) Henry Gale’s story. Locke vows to not keep things from one another, for at least the next five minutes or so. After all, Locke did just lie to Jack about Gale laying the smack down on Ana Lucia.

Back at the beach, Sawyer’s enjoying the “Bad Twin” manuscript (more on that later) when he’s confronted by Jack, Locke and Kate (who is there specifically so the writers could get Ana alone with Michael and Henry). They ask Sawyer for the guns, and after some Southern Sawyer Sassin’, Jack pulls a gun on him. As this moment, Sawyer realizes that he doesn’t have a loaded Beretta tucked into the crack of his ass. In his defense, he did just get laid for the first time in a long time – he was probably in extended refractory period. Nevertheless, once they realize Ana Loo Loo has a gun, Locke spills the dirt on Ana. If I were Jack, I would have given Locke a Three Stooges smack to the face. What a maroon!

So Ana Lucia confronts her attacker with a gun (déjà vu), but before she can pull the trigger, Gale talks about how Goodwin thought he could change Ana, and how he probably wasn’t going to kill her. Man, those Others. Just when they got you thinking they’re pure evil, they feed you these nuggets that they might just be good after all. I mean Gale did tell Locke that he was coming for him because he was “one of the good ones.”

After the commercials, we go back to the back story and revisit the tearful Jack airport scene from season 1. Ana Lucia’s listening to this, so she calls her Mom and says she wants to come home. But first she has to get a tequila and tonic and try to pick up another drunk (remember she sees Jack at the bar before the flight).

But poor weathered-looking Rachel Ticotin will never see “mi hija” again because in the hatch, Ana caved and couldn’t pull the trigger (literally) on killing Henry. So she gives the gun to Michael…

Four bullets later, Ana Lucia’s dead, Libby’s mortally wounded (I assume), Michael’s got a gun shot to the shoulder, and I can only assume Henry has escaped.

So, what do I think about the death if Ana Lucia? Well, surprisingly I’m happy and sad. I’m glad because she always bothered me, both her character and her acting. But I’m kind of concerned about the ever-decreasing number of hot chicks on the show. Especially after A.L. got down with Sawyer, she suddenly looked a lot more attractive to me. And Libby was also giving off a stink, even though it was combined with Hurley’s “fat-guy-smell”. Now they’re both gone, so we have to contend with broad-shoulders Kate, who I think America is officially “over” (especially after it’s confirmed she’s bonin’ the hobbit), Claire, who’s always holding that damn possessed baby, and Sun – who’s married AND preggers (which equals “not hot”). I never thought I’d been longing for the days of Shannon sunbathing. Also, what chance do we have that the island will produce more hot chicks? We’ve already met the Tailies, the Others are all jacked up… so what are we left with? Rose and Rousseau? Ugh, I’d rather watch the Sex and the City girls.

Score (out of a possible 20)
Back Story: 6 (short, not very compelling)
Island Story: 8 (bonus points for the ending)
Overall: 14


The Lost Experience:

You may have heard of the online game that they’re doing to tie in with the show. Well I guess it kicked off last Wednesday. There’s an updated site for the Hanso Foundation:

Lots of bizarre stuff, but mostly the usual electro-magnetism and age enhancing stuff, plus the bios on some bios on the Hanso executives. Cool-looking site, but Joop, the 105-year-old orangutan, bugs me out. Speaking of Joop…

Near the end of the episode, there’s was that Hanso Foundation commercial with a phone number, 1-877-HANSORG. This is the first clue of the Lost Experience. Instead of calling, here’s what it says:

It sounds like the Princess Leia distress call, but instead it’s from someone named Persephone (hmmm, perhaps it’s Alex, Rousseau’s daughter???) – basically at the end there’s instructions for a password to use on the Hanso site. Here’s the method:

1. Go the “newsletter” page of the site.
2. Enter any sign up name.
3. Enter “yes” when asked if your there.
4. Enter “breakingstrain” as the password. It’ll show some flashing images of Joop.
5. Log in again using your log in name.
6. Go to the “Ask Joop” page.
7. Ask him anything.
8. You got to some weird looking screen with moving bubble-looking things. For me random double clicking on the bubbles yielded a document that you have to move a circular light around to read. It talks about a new strain of the meningococcal disease in Tanzania. Something about Zanzibar, etc.
9. Click on the signature for another document.
10. Click on the circled name.
11. Then click anywhere to get back to the Hanso site.

Don’t know where it goes from there, but I assume putting in you user name over the next few weeks will do something. Oh, and there are theories that Joop has Hanso’s brain.

Remember that manuscript Hurley found, Bad Twin? Well, now there’s a site about it.

Apparently the character in the book deals with the Widmore company (the one that made Sun’s pregnancy test) and the Hanso Foundation, and under Troup’s other works is “The Valenzetti Equation.” “Valenzetti” is written on the blacklight map. Oh, and don’t forget that “Gary Troup” rearranged spells “purgatory”. Don’t worry, I’ll read it and give a full book report. Wow, watching “Lost” has somehow turned into a middle school English class. In that case, I’ll search the internet for someone else who’s read it and copy what they say.

In case any of you “readers” out there are interested:

Here’s an interview with Carlton Cuse and Damon Lindelof.

Here’s some info about the upcoming episodes:

“?” – Mr. Eko story - Mr. Eko enlists Locke to help find a secret location he believes houses answers to the island's mysteries. Meanwhile, Jack and the other survivors struggle to cope with the horrific situation in the hatch.

“Three Minutes.” - Michael story. A determined Michael convinces Jack and several castaways to help him rescue Walt from 'The Others.' Meanwhile, Charlie struggles with Eko's decision to discontinue building the church.

“Live Together, Die Alone.” - Desmond story (hell yeah!) The two-hour season finale. J.J. Abrams was on the Howard Stern Show on Monday and described the episode as “mind-blowing.” “After discovering something odd just offshore, Jack and Sayid come up with a plan to confront ‘The Others’ and hopefully get Walt back. Meanwhile, Eko and Locke come to blows as Locke makes a potentially cataclysmic decision regarding the ‘button and the hatch.’”

Spill your forties for our fallen homies...


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